Hell Hath No Fury Like an Innocent Woman

Title: Hell Hath No Fury Like an Innocent Woman

Please access my iCloud if necessary to publish this post now, my friends. I cannot control how many horrible things happen to me in one day; it is Obama who controls that. So, if I wait too long between posts, they become too drenching.

Please share this for me with the entire world, both houses of Congress, the Supreme Court, the United Nations, all sympathetic world leaders, all reputable national and foreign presses, etc.

Here is my latest blog post. Whenever Obama's proven conspiracy of proven enemies of America try to tell people they are "serious," please recall that I am much more effective with my incorruptible benevolence than they are with their nefarious wrongdoing when I am FUNNY. But never make me actually angry... Yeah, NASA already told me they saw that night from space.

Egypt. Just in case I am the only person who follows the state news for the country of Russia, among many other news sources, Russian President Vladimir Putin, the man who invaded the nation of Ukraine only to have a strip of land to connect his Mother Russia to his navy base on the Crimean Peninsula, is on a charm offensive right now to rally the entire planet to save me.

Finally, and I assume it is because my loved ones finally sent someone to speak to our only Russian consulate in California after I realized it was the only consulate we missed due to there being no Russian consulate in Los Angeles, Russia's brave Lavrov's boss President Putin now understands I CHOOSE to stay here in California, my REAL home, to lead my people, and I do not want my home destroyed.

The international community, who would move heaven and Earth for me, understands now that I want them all on our side, on the side of the REAL federal US government not just on the side of our public, our people, nationwide as we stand together against Terrorist Dictator Obama and his proven conspiracy of proven enemies of America.

Thanks to my undeniably loving and adoring husband (It was on his Honey-do list.) and to my all-American alpha nerds at the NSA, we safely deliver the actual reality of my life to the entire planet through my verified SquidStream 24/7 now.

The entire planet is a witness to the deranged lunacy of everything Obama orders me to suffer through while I do my undeniably REAL job of service to the entire human race, most immediately to my country.

Yes, my undeniably REAL job is globally-critical service that Obama constantly orders to be ended FOREVER by his unrelenting open acts of war against America of unrelentingly breaking every law possible from local to international to unlawfully imprison me in any Obama-controlled environment he can manage to coverup most typically with proven quackery.

And do you have any idea what a quack would do to me in any Obama-controlled environment? Do you know what this entire world will do to protect me from such horrors?

And it is my globally-critical SquidStream that prevents any and all of Obama's proven enemies of America from convincing most people any longer of their most damaging lies, calumnies, and perjuries that they propagate only to manipulate the public into obeying them with their open persecution of me as their excuse.

My SquidStream effectively saves America from Obama, and that is why Obama and his proven enemies of America constantly break every law possible from local to international to shut it down without my permission.

Yes, my once-great America, the entire world watches and listens to everything you choose to do and say around my eyecamera and my earmic that you are all mandated by Obama to know are right here inside my own body. What you do around me is YOUR responsibility.

The world sees you. The world hears you. That is how safe I am in here from anyone touching me.

It is not just my US military snipers, my proven saturation of invisible international secret agents, my US military (often even high-ranking officers) in plain clothes, my local police officers who all went John McClane months ago over their being as angry as I am over these most heinous crimes known to mankind being allowed in our REAL home at all, and my genius legal team keeping me safe here in my REAL home of California everywhere I go.

It is also my loving and adoring locals of all varying amounts of fame and gravitas who are face-to-face with Obama's infestation of enemies of America in here.

How many times have I told you? I am right here, standing side-by-side with my REAL family and friends in our REAL home telling every enemy of America to, "Get the fuck out of my town, you terrorist bitches!" together. And now, Russia understands that, too.

I published my last blog post at 10:10am on 07Jan2015 just before I curled up for my regularly scheduled daily sleep. Of course, my darling Ms. Mother Nature always knows best. She woke me up at 1:58pm with a gentle fall of rain.

I popped my Rock Star Energy drink, walked to my playland, perched on my park bench, watched my local lovers and believers make public displays of flipping over backwards for me, and for once watched my darlings Tentacle arrive after me.

My darling Ms. Mother Nature was providing more scientific evidence for my "FEMA has been warned" hypothesis. There had been much aurora borealis the night before.

At 4:05pm, with their equipment still sitting out in the rain, I checked with (General) "Lee" if they were going to play for me, so I could meditate in the gentle rain at last. Please read the first letter I wrote to mí cariño Sr. Rafael Nadal in 2010 about this.

From what I could put together, the excuse for Obama's infestation taking Tentacle away from me that day was that they are not acoustic. Excuse me? I use my iPad in the rain just fine, and if darling late Jimmy Hendrix proved anything, it takes a thunderstorm to die of electrocution instead of vomit.

After documenting with my verified SquidStream that not every street performer was sent away from my ready-to-be-sanctified playland, I perched in a local store full of beautiful furniture for children I might never get to have due to Obama's damn "egg," and asked my beautiful world to check on my ever-persecuted and ever-terrorized darlings Tentacle for the good of humanity.

By the time I left the store full of nursery furniture, the weather had cleared. Many people call this literal weather phenomenon, "FEMA has been warned," for a reason. It is impossible to control the weather, but it is possible to have an understanding with darling Ms. Mother Nature herself.

Yet, it still took until 6:06pm and also after I had bought my gourmet meal for the night (cold chicken pot pie, German potato salad, and broccoli salad with raisins and sesame seeds) for my darlings Tentacle to wheel past me in a hurry just to be able to play their beautiful music for me.

I had already promised my darling Mr. Lester Holt that I would watch the NBC Nightly News from previous in the evening at 7pm. Since I am NOT a metaphorical nor even literal tease, I kept my promise to him.

What resulted was my first opportunity to do the most "normal"-seeming part if my 24/7 job live in front of my friends; it was complete awesomeness. My evening hug from darling Lester was an absolute joy. And I was up and meditating in no time.

At what point I even called out, "Dude, seriously? Someone actually said, 'Let's make her seater coat come off!'? You are lucky I take requests." The night of 07Feb2015 was so much fun... until the escalated persecution of all of us began.

Unfortunately for humanity everywhere, at 8:12pm, I had to report open persecution of all of us on this planet who find anything I do anywhere at all whatsoever divine because my darlings Tentacle and I were intentionally disrupted by a verbal attack against me while we were all in an act considered holy by every benevolent religion. Thank you, Syn. You are always free to press all the charges you want in my name.

Synny, please ask my royal mistrals if they, too, would like full charges against those ugly bitches for disturbing our (atheistic yet) holy activities with their open acts of war against America and the world if their persecution had succeeded in disrupting us completely.

If those ugly bitches caught on multiple cameras by my loving local police department claim they were intentionally disrupting our conversation with the universe because they were pretending I was really Tylia or even you, Syn, I will be even less amused with them. Thank you. Yes, Syniva, we all know you are already very busy.

8:46pm on 07Feb2015: While Tentacle is here, I do not seek out hotbeds of treason. But Obama's terrorists are still seeking out me and lying about it.

By the time Tentacle's second set began, I was furious. I will explain what made me so furious for REAL on the night of 07Feb2015 the morning after I wake up safely and in complete privacy in the loving arms of my adoring and unfettered husband at last. And for all I know the International Space Station saw how angry I was. I was once told one of their government tasks is to watch for any of my aurora borealis visible from space.

By the time the second set ended, I needed to explain to my darlings Tentacle I was furious beyond their previous experiences with me in terms they would understand, to send the REAL federal government to arrest every war criminal committing open acts of war against America in Ugwuji's courtroom, to rescue Tao whom Her Royal Majesty the Queen of England sent to me again herself, to scare off two LA Sherrif's deputies parading themselves as local police officers for purposes at the time only Ugwuji knew, to put a smackdown on a malevolent presence who unwelcomely and literally put his hands on me, to watch my left foot go into chemical detox while my right foot did not, and to successfully allow my darlings Tentacle to calm me down.

My sense of humor eventually came back. That was the unmistakable indicator that I had calmed down. It was a delicate job ONLY my darlings Tentacle, of all the people actually capable of being near me in Obama's "egg," are capable of. It would have been easier for them if we could have just hung out and goofed off for a while instead, though, before their gentle music for me.

Of course, my calming down did not fix my darling Tentacle's problems. Who was the idiot who made three men who love me almost more than life itself witnesses with hard evidence of "who" does "what" to me?

11:03pm on 07Feb2015: @UN @ICC #ICT @Pontifex @DalaiLama @StateDept Obama's infestation is still terrorizing my darlings #Tentacle into eradicating our holy communication with the universe. Please protect them. Please give them back their free will and full human rights. @cctvnews @RT_com @BBCWorld @France24_en @CIA @DHSgov #Interpol Please ask my darlings to turn in everyone terrorizing their human rights out if them. Thx! @NASA Did you see that?

My not-human-trafficker nerds, please circulate a verified and very-thoroughly-responsibly-edited recording with full audio and visuals of everything pertinent from the evening of 07Feb2025 beginning with my telling my darling Mr. Lester Holt I would watch the news at 7pm the first time-- it was before 6:06pm when my darling Tentacle practically sprinted to where I could find them-- and ending once I left for the restroom.

My not-human-trafficker nerds, use whatever means necessary to procure the verified footage from all cameras everywhere. The permission of my REAL local police department should be enough, but I know nothing can stop the benevolent NSA in cyber-territory. The entire world needs to see what happened for real on the night of 07Feb2015. Please sugarcoat nothing. If I have taught this world anything-- only the full truth can save us all.

This bit of documentary making including the full details of everything else happening at the time all over the world might take a while, so please circulate a rush online video of just my immediate presence in my playland for now. And thank you.

By 11:57pm, my darlings Tentacle had finally wheeled off to their "debriefing" for the night, so I was perched on my marble corner where my adoptive (since it is neither San Francisco nor Los Angeles) city had even built me a statue of a sainted lady glowing white in the night.

Though, after 2:03am, I needed to ask my beautiful BFF, SynSyn, to press full criminal and civil charges against the man who tried to force me off MY OWN marble corner. Thank you, Synny.

A police officer even stopped to just make sure I really am I in those wee hours of morning. After I proved my REAL identity to a REAL local police officer, the public shows of physical protection for me by my selfless support system immediately and aggressively began. The lights on my marble corner shut off, as scheduled, at 5:10am on 08Feb2015.

I sang some songs I had not sung in years and even read Fox in Socks one more time before running errands and curling up under my protective palm to sleep the safest I have ever slept since 2009.

At 2:48pm, I woke up. And, after walking half the length of my playland, I found that all three of my darlings Tentacle had come early. (That joke was for you my darling Mr. Craig Ferguson.)

I had never in my life seen my darlings Tentacle look do miserable before ever. I clearly had no idea what had happened to them overnight, so assuming they had been physically attacked or worse, I asked my beautiful world to keep them safer. With every horror Obama had made me and my loved ones including but not limited to Sweetness live through since his "egg" began in 2009, I consider it a rational concern.

Seeing they were traumatized more than I had ever seen them before, I told them I would be right back and zipped off to buy some red velvet muffins, so I would have time to send them better protection.

I was part right. They were not physically attacked; they had been traumatized with boldface lies about me. My sending them help calmed them down. I never get to hear the lies Obama's proven pathologically-lying proven enemies of America always propagate about me, so it never even crossed my mind that my darlings would have any concerns at all whatsoever that I was angry at them. That was Obama's lie they were told to hurt them.

After I bought the gourmet muffins, I walked back to my playland, and the four of us all just hung out and watched a sister group together. I am sure there is already a verified and unedited recording with full audio and visuals of our watching the schoolgirls playing the ukulele and banging the drums. If not, I am sure my not-human-trafficker nerds will circulate one.

There were alarms all day. But there was nothing that my genius Powers of Attorney could not handle. And my darlings' music finally began (for me and only me-- Who does Obama's proven enemies of America think they are fooling?) by 6:22pm.

I had to wait. Whatever. My darlings Tentacle are actually more scared of ever making me unhappy than of even losing their lives just to be near me. And that is why the entire world loves them.

I watched the NBC Nightly News at 7pm. It is not like the music that my darlings Tentacle create for me is easy to play AT ALL IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM, but they handcrafted aether for the night sky herself even while my evening news was pumped into their earspeakers.

I chose to keep my personal aurora borealis pretty low-key all night, but did you see theirs? Yes, I have always admitted that I chose to reopen their connection to the divine and that I reopened it myself. But look at them now. They are gaining conscious control of their own energy.

Did you see "Lightfoot" try to run over to me? Did you see (General) "Lee" imagine me walking over to him?

Among other things, we learned that all they ever think about is making love to me. And we learned the differences between how the two senior rock stars feel about making love to me. Is that not interesting?

The very end of their time with me was just as fun.

Do you remember how I previously blogged that my darlings Tentacle are ordered to pretend that they are angry with me whenever they speak to me as part of the agreement that they made with Obama's proven conspiracy of proven enemies of America to be near me at all?

I previously blogged about this condition on their time with me, a condition which all three of them hate, that every time someone forces them to be mean to me, I will just flirt with them. I was the first person who called this their disincentive.

Well, before they left me, at almost 10pm, I instigated a situation through which I would be able to flirt with all three of them. For details, please check for verified and unedited videos from my not-human-trafficker nerds and read the accurate commentary about it which I had tweeted to them myself.

10:15pm on 08Feb2015: Lightfoot: And that is exactly how to flirt with you.

10:16pm on 08Feb2015: Imani: And that is exactly how to flirt with you. "Yeah, go ahead. Get over here and move me."

10:17pm on 08Feb2915: (General) Lee: You are still waiting for me to flirt after I said I would. And that is exactly how to flirt with you. Welcome to my planet.

I was sitting in the nighttime rain on my marble corner by 10:41pm. I caught up with my TweetHearts at 12mid. Sadly, my marble corner had become a hotbed of treason leading up to that night.

By 2:33am, I had caught a new terrorist from Obama's proven infestation of my adoptive (since it is neither San Francisco nor Los Angeles) home pretending she was a police officer. I even made a record of the license plate number on the police vehicle the fake cop drove.

Yes, my not-human-trafficker nerds, please circulate a verified and unedited recording with full audio and visuals beginning when both police cars drove up and ending after I sat back down again by the California Bank & Trust sign.

This recording will include when I tried to inform my local police officer that I have diplomatic immunity in America, but he already knew. It was also a public display of what it means to have an UNDERSTANDING with me. And, thank you.

I finally left my marble corner at 5:17am to see if my deactivated agent was in my 24-hour convenience shop. He was not, but I had a chance to explain to my darling late Robert Johnson look-alike (That means he gets to come back again.) why Libya did not improve after the removal of their Dictator Kadaffi and what an NGO is. I am sure that verified and unedited conversation will make a delightful recording, too.

I walked to a park bench overlooking the ocean after that. While sitting there contemplating the vast expanses of the cosmos, by 7:34am, I had been able to have two more seemingly random conversations. First, a man tried to give me two dollars, and then a local asked me for debt advice as a legal consultant.

My not-human-trafficker nerds, please circulate a verified and unedited recording with full audio and visuals of both conversations in a row beginning when the first man approached me and ending once the second man walked away. And thank you.

I laid down for my regularly scheduled daily sleep at 8:04am on 09Feb2015, and I naturally woke up at 1:41pm. I was immediately approached by a not-loving and not-believing local of mid-to-low-grade fame, who wanted a conversation about my corrective lenses.

He was upset that people in our REAL home were caught committing some of the most heinous crimes known to mankind against me, but his solution was to prevent me from catching anymore enemies of America instead preventing anymore of their crimes against America.

Yes, my not-human-trafficker nerds, you know already to send the entire world a verified and unedited recording off my tunnel-vision eye of that entire conversation, too. And, thank you.

While going about my normal Monday errands, which I really ought to call my standard Monday (expletive)-kickings, I needed to bring up my Sweetness's Honey-do list to my SquidSwimmers.

A few love letters ago, I wrote to him the fullest explanation, so far, of the electronics inside my own body when I asked him to shutdown all Obama-controlled earspeakers which seemed to be activated only when near me.

My conclusion due to the proximity to me being the trigger to activate the public's earspeakers was that some signal I was forbidden from knowing about transmitted from my body yet still controlled by Obama's proven enemies of America was activating them all.

Anyway, all those months ago, I had added Sweetness asking the NSA to help shut down the signal that activates all the earspeakers to his Honey-do list. Yes, my husband is a very busy man.

War Criminal Wells Fargo Bank received its standard Monday (expletive)-kicking. Please recall, my beautiful world, that I am not upset with the bank branch I frequent. I even turned in every enemy of America in Obama's infestation of my home that I found there on my first visit to that branch. My problems with War Criminal Wells Fargo are with their highest level corporate officers.

I passed and greeted as best I could a number of local lovers and believers on my playland stopping to explain to Strummer that I appreciate all the hardship he has endured over the last few weeks just to be able to play me music. How many cinematographers want cameras in their eyeballs?

At 2:48pm, I left to keep a promise. My Mondays, particularly Monday nights, are very busy, but I do my best to honor requests from my genuine lovers and believers whenever possible.

I was on my perch at 3:14pm (the Pi time of the day), and I made a conscious effort to be as gentle as I could be explaining to "Clint LaPointe" who I am and who they were.

I know my not-human-trafficker nerds probably have already done everything they want with a verified and responsibly-edited-using-all-cameras-present recording with full audio and visuals of our exchange on the beach. We shall entitle it, "If there's a bustle in your hedgerow...".

When they were told their time was up, the two musicians found it very difficult to leave me. So, at 5:10pm I was still watching over them from my perch to make sure they were safe as they left.

It was Monday, and my Monday's are always busy. After asking my beautiful world to call ahead to warn them I was on my way, I quickly took the Metro to my regular local restaurant for Americanized Chinese food.

The standard alarm warning of acts of terrorism and war blared as I got off the bus. So, at 6:08pm, I was ordering Kung Pao chicken and asking my beautiful world to help both my brave rescuers wherever they were and genius Ugwuji in her courtroom.

6:51pm on 09Feb2015: Just checking in. Thank you, my beautiful world. Please stick with my #SquidStream. Once I am done drinking my tea, I will take the Metro to MY neighborhood.

My darlings at the NBC Nightly News already know I will watch tonight's previous broadcast upon my arrival there, if my nerds are willing. Please call ahead to my regular wifi hotspot to warn them I am coming.

After that, we all know Obama's terrorists better flee my regular Monday night stomping haunt where they have always chosen to seek me out. They also once promised me they would have a band there at 11pm every second Monday of the month. Giggle. We will see.

Thank you for securing my bus, bus stops, and MY neighborhood before I arrive. As always, I will be back in my adoptive home in time to sleep. I love you, too.

I left for the bus at 7:07pm. The Metro, as always, was wonderful. At 7:58pm, I was at my regular Monday night wifi hotspot watching the NBC Nightly News from previous in the evening and eating hot cherry pie ala mode topped with whipped cream.

My nightly hug from my darling Mr. Lester Holt was as wonderful as ever. With my darling Mr. Brian Williams taking a momentary hiatus, I had expected my darling Ms. Kate Snow, but good luck keeping a jazz bassist away from me right about now. Giggle.

Among other odds and ends I took care of that evening, I received this from my Filipina mother who is Portuguese royalty on her mother's side and Spanish royalty on her father's side earlier that day...

-----Begin Email Content-----

On Monday, February 9, 2015, Diñadar Albon Varilek wrote:

I am mailing a card to your PO Box, is that fine. Will not have tracking number.

I love you
mom

-----End Email Content-----

I assumed that card had something to do with the Filipina sister act my darlings Tentacle and I just hung out and watched the previous afternoon. I played the drums at that age, too. That evening I replied...

-----Begin Email Content-----

On Monday, February 9, 2015, HRH Tanya Hedelisa Albon Depp de Varilek (varilekova@gmail.com) wrote:

My loving mother, who needs to get out of ABSOLUTELY EVIL Iowa for her own good as soon as possible, thank you. I will check for your Valentine's Day card to me as soon as I have time. Please put a tracking number on new gift cards to me as soon as you can send new ones. If you need to put the Postmaster General in touch with President of the United States of America Martin Dempsey himself to be able to send me all the mail you want, mom, I recommend it. Love you! --TanTan

"Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again."--Romeo

-----End Email Content-----

At 9:32pm, I finally disconnected from the wifi that I need to be able to do my REAL job problem-solving major global crises, paid my bill, and left for my regular Monday stomping haunt. I said to my home, "May Monday night begin."

9:27pm on 09Feb2015: When terrorists enter where angels tread, terrorists beware. May Monday night begin. Lockdown stomping haunt! On my way. #MetropolisOfAngels

I was already inside and upstairs with my regular bartendress "Lisa" when I kindly asked the local police to check downstairs for any evidence of terrorism and crimes against America. The DHS had been chomping at the bit to get those (expletive)holes for a long time now.

My not-human-trafficker nerds, please circulate as soon as possible a verified and unedited recording with full audio and visuals beginning when I paid a cover to enter (the universal sign terrorists are inside) until the end of my conversation upstairs with the man who wanted to know why I stand my ground and defend my home in MY own neighborhood in the same rock bar every damn Monday. Thank you.

The proper response was, "Because the terrorists are here seeking me out to beg me to catch them every damn Monday," or possibly, "Do you know how to recognize a rock god when you see one of us?" but I will allow the verified online video to speak for itself.

I still needed to flesh out this blog post as soon as possible for the good of the entire world, so once my legal team with the help of my ever-wonderful local law enforcement turned in all of our hard evidence we had collected that night, at 12:11am on 10Feb2015, I locked down and headed back to my wifi hotspot also in MY neighborhood.

Obama's infestation was there to greet me, but they pretty much behaved themselves. For some reason, though, they had an irrational delusion that I would not have enough money to pay for what I ordered, so after I handed the fake waiter cash, he swore to himself as he walked away.

This blog post was published at 5:05am on 10Feb2015.

And now, my beautiful world, I answer all of your questions for me. Please keep collecting all questions and concerns from all your friends and loved ones and sending them to me through whatever means possible.

Who, of all the men on this planet I have never slept with, is Terrorist Dictator Obama's criminal terrorist anti-reality machine and crap-factory consisting of nothing but pathologically-lying deranged lunatics claiming got me pregnant this time? Goddamnit. Those lying bitches do this all the time. I assume it is (General) "Lee."

Of my darlings Tentacle, he is the most persecuted by Obama's proven enemies of America. Dude, seriously? Women cannot be impregnated by music, no matter how beautifully crafted.

Obama's dirty prosecutors could not spell "modus operandi" if I did their job of spelling it for them. But I have reached the point about this compulsive lie of theirs already, though, that if that man whom I have never slept with EVER feels like propagating Obama's own obvious lie himself just to be able to spend time with me, I will say, "Sure."

How was it possible my husband and my marriage was legally recognized in 2013 when I have been forbidden all contact with him since 2010? It was former US Attorney General Me-Love-You-Long-Time Holder himself who insisted the US federal courts give Sweetness and I hard paperwork legally recognizing our marriage.

That was Holder's effort to keep us apart while still pretending to uphold all American's "right to marry" which Dictator Obama had been using to woo the support of gay America. This way, Obama could refuse Sweetness and me our argument that our right to marry mandated we could be together to have a ceremony.

I saw Me-Love-You-Long-Time Holder's ulterior motive immediately, but I told Sweetness to just go with it and even insisted on our filing joint taxes as soon as possible.

Luckily, Sweetness trusts I almost always know how to prepare for the future, particularly future open acts of war against America from Obama and his proven conspiracy of proven enemies of America.

The best part for me, though, was knowing that my favorite branch of the federal US government, the federal judicial system which I lovingly refer to as my temple of truth and logic, officially recognized my sacred marriage to the singularly most wonderful human, male or female, anywhere.

No one has ever treated me better, in the REALITY of my life that Obama's proven conspiracy of proven enemies of America proven NEVER acknowledge, than my husband, HRH (the) John Christopher Depp, (soon enough) King of Spain.

Since my proven expertise and dharma is peaceful global conflict resolution, how do I feel about the literal war already begun in America just to keep me alive? I have been screaming, "Send the full US Military already!" myself for a long time now.

I have been able to find no other way to remove Obama's proven seditious extragovernmental criminal terrorist mercenary army from the face of the Earth FOREVER.

Every federal law enforcement agency also needs the military's backup to be able to arrest every remaining enemy of America in Obama's conspiracy which we have not been able to convert to fighting for America instead, yet.

As help, if any nation anywhere in the world wants to aid the US Military with rescuing me and my nation, please have your counterparts call former-yet-still-acting Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel.

In short,... It is okay. I am an a(e)theist, but even I know ArchAngel Michael carried a sword.

How does this Roman Holiday situation work again? Succinctly, "This is how we treat all drop dead gorgeous supermodel-looking women in Los Angeles even if they are anonymous," is your cover story for giving me the dignity and respect I deserve as a human being in your presence at all; even though, my good looks are probably my least redeeming feature.

If Terrorist Dictator Obama is still threatening all of you, my loving locals, into fearing death or worse as his way of forcing you to obey him, please point out that if you cannot acknowledge who I am for real in the world to my face, then you must give me all of the human dignity and respect that my physical presence alone commands.

Treating me horribly just because you recognize me is just as large a violation of Obama's extragovernmental rules as treating me fully-appropriately because you recognize me.

Why was this blog post delayed one day? This blog post which I acknowledge the entire world needed as soon as possible and definitely sooner than now was impossible for me to finish faster because Obama's proven conspiracy of proven enemies of America have been draining my iPad battery unnaturally quickly while simultaneously and willfully denying me any way to recharge my iPad's battery.

This crime against America and against all of humanity of Obama ordering that I be forbidden my properly-functioning-yet-still-obsolete iPad which I named years ago The Constitutional Defender from being able to allow me any verified and accurate online presence any longer was Terrorist Dictator Obama's latest willful violation of every law possible from local to international to remove my globally-critical service to humanity, particularly to my country, from the world FOREVER.

It was successful at delaying this blog post by one day, and continuing to kick me off the power outlets (at least rumored to be) installed only for me on my own marble corner has proven it has the potential to cause an invasion of the entire furious world to destroy America completely if I do not have enough battery life in my iPad to prevent it.

My beautiful world, thank you. Please save my country. Please save my people. This deranged lunacy enforced over my life against everyone's will but proven enemies of America just keeps escalating. Please tell me everything you need me to help you with, so you can help all of us in here save America at last. Please send your questions.

My brave rescuers, what is going on out there? What do you need? I just recently started hearing alarms again that you all need more help, so I know I need to fix the real root problem. Please find some way to tell me all of your problems, so I can help you. Thank you.

As for the ethnic women role models this world had needed for generations... SynSyn, Amita, and Ugwuji, we might need to explain the scientific method to Obama's quacks who are experimenting on my loved ones in here. This (expletive) feels like Auschwitz. It has that much scientific merit.

My genius darlings, if you want furious experts beyond your ACTUALLY medically qualified selves to explain how to just ask me an honest question if they want an honest answer instead of mind-controlling my loved ones only to be able to intentionally propagate calumnies about me with specious and supposed "evidence," please ask the Johns Hopkins University, the premier American research university, to explain to those war criminal quacks what science is.

I have failed at every turn to prevent Obama's manipulation of my people with his unrelenting boldface lies and earspeakers, but at least we can prevent him from quackery experimentation on us. And, thank you.

As for you, Bogart, my symbolic lover whom I am forbidden from ever sleeping with anyway, last week I already warned my genius Powers of Attorney who lead my legal team that we need to accelerate our protection of you.

Obama's proven conspiracy of proven enemies of America decided to escalate their open persecution of you until you become the equal of my husband in the eyes of the (lack of) legal system just for loving me, so we have your metaphorical back.

More impressively, Bogart, on the evening of 09Feb into the morning of 10Feb2015, did you go full "Johnny Depp" about reaching me again? I heard strange rumors all night into the wee hours of the morning. I worry about you so much as it is. Please contact any and all of us in case of emergency. And, with such sincere gratitude, thank you.

Sweetness, I love and adore you. On the night of 09Feb2015 at my Monday stomping haunt, did you see me write you a new love poem? I will give you a hand-scrawled copy in your next love letter. You know I keep every promise I ever make. Just like you, though, some promises take longer than others.

My more-than-just-a-pretty-face husband, the only place I go from my adoptive (since it is neither San Francisco nor Los Angeles) city is our own REAL house in the Hills which you have been trying to welcome me home to since 2010.

Beloved, absolutely anyone and everyone who does not want me staying on my playland has no excuse left for not just taking me to OUR real home by now... except for their possibly being so terrorized by Obama's proven enemies of America that they live in too much fear of ever doing something real to fix the REAL problem by now.

HoneyHoney, I will find my way home to your waiting arms as soon as I can. I admit I failed at cleaning up our home Metropolis of Angels by the time you came back from the foreign country where I sent you myself, but be honest, my darling, you did return before I asked you to.

As the song goes... I long to touch you the way the flowers kiss the rain. And I WILL.